So I didn't get married. The whole loving an older married man got in the way. And the fact that the more I thought about it, the more I realized how miserable I would be if I married Brandon. We had nothing in common. Nothing. He wanted to stay home and play his video games and watch tv. I wanted to go out and live life and explore and learn. And as time goes on, I realize how I should not have stayed with him for so long. I wouldn't say I wasted 4 and a half years of my life, but I could definitely have spent them with someone better. Someone who actually wanted to spend time with me, someone who would have fought for me.
So anyways, I'm currently single. Kinda sorta. I'm seeing a new man, but there are definitely problems there. Like the fact that he is married. Everything else is great. We love spending time together, we share a passion for cooking and the outdoors and we get along great. I'm not sure how to deal with it, really. We became really good friends at first, then that turned into like, which turned into love. I want to fight for him, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure that he won't ask for a divorce because he doesn't want to lose everything again. He's already been through divorce once, and I don't want to ask him to go through that pain again, but we are so good together. But it makes me feel like the skanky mistress, which I'm not. There are just so many conflicting feelings that go along with this.
It's definitely been a wild ride these past few months, and I have a feeling it's not even half way over yet.
