Views on Marriage

You may have once upon a time wondered, how does the "other woman" view marriage? You know, since she is under full intent of destroying one?

I can't speak for other "other women," but I can speak for this one. I think marriage can be a great thing, if you choose the right person.

That's the key there. Choosing the right person. Granted, you won't know if you have chosen the right person until 20, 30, 40, 50 years later, but hey! You still gotta make that decision the best you can with the information you have.

It's a double edged sword. You think you are making a good decision at the time, but it may turn out to be a bad one.

Like an investment or a stock. You watch it for a while, my, it sure looks pretty. It's going up, people desire it (the product or the company), I think I may want to invest in it. So you do, then all hell breaks lose.

Turns out the CEO lied and was corrupt. Turns out the head scientist ordered they use inferior materials to bulk up the products and lied about it. Turns out everything you thought the company was headed toward is the opposite of where they are going.

Promises are made in the beginning, promises are broken. But where does that leave us?

Do we still put our faith in something that has shown to not work very often? Or do we still believe that under the right circumstances, it can be great, wonderful, amazing?

I'm still under that second category. I do believe that if you marry the right person, you can have a wonderful marriage and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, many people make a decision to get married based on invalid or unknown truths. Take Rich for example. He married his first wife because she made all these promises that she wanted the same things as him, she acted like a loving and doting girlfriend. So, they got married. As soon as the honeymoon was over, she let her true self show. She didn't want to do any activities with him. She was not very loving or doting. It was all a sham.

Should he have gotten married to her? Heck no! But according to the information he had at the time, you would have said, oh yeah they will make it for sure!

Same with his second wife, albeit a bit different. They actually did have things in common. A lot of things in common. Till she got injured. Then everything changed. They still got married, but no longer did she want to do the same things as him. Over time, she became more interested in spending time with her kids than with him. One year, she didn't even say happy anniversary to him, and she spent the day with her daughter. This last year, she did the same exact thing.

Nothing says I don't care about you anymore like forgetting (or ignoring) an anniversary.

Now, back to what the "other woman" thinks of marriage, even though I'm breaking one up. Well, in my opinion, she gave up a long time ago, long before I came into the picture. If they had wanted to make it work, they would have worked at it. But they both let it go way beyond repair and now I doubt there is any chance at fixing it.

Do I believe they should try to make it work? Yes, and no. If they were able to make it up and Rich was happy, I would definitely be hurt, but I would want what makes him happiest. But the chances of that ever happening are slim to none. They don't do anything together. He spends more time with me at my place than he does at his own house, except for sleeping.

In this roundabout way, I'm saying that yes, I do believe in the greatness of marriage, but it comes with complications that can be brought about by deceiving the other person and not putting every effort in. I choose to do neither when I get married. I don't see it as any benefit to me to play myself up as someone I'm not, because eventually the charade is going to get tiring and my husband may not love the person I actually am.

I would rather wait to find the right man who loves me for me than settle for someone who loves the person I'm pretending to be.

Thanks for reading.

Katy