This blog has so far been a fragmented piece, where I have been debating writing about my relationship with Rich, a married man who I fell in love with. I can't write about it in my normal blog since so many people don't know about him and I feel partially like I shouldn't write about it at all. The other part of me needs that outlet and wants to share the wonderful life we have created with each other. I also want to show that being the "other woman" isn't what people typically think it's like. I want to dispel so many stereotypes about being the "other woman." I'm also willing to undergo scrutiny from others, but if you are to comment, please be kind and remember this is my life, not yours.
I've finally decided to write about my everyday relationship with Rich and show (and to tell you the truth, prove) that we do belong together and that most relationships are more complicated than they seem.
I will try to catch up on the past year that I've known him, but not all in one post and not in great detail. I've tried before, and it simply overwhelmed me. I'll include the necessary details, but skip over most of it. I also won't be including any photos as to not be identified as easily.
First, Rich and I came into each other's lives by complete accident. We work for the same company and his area had lost a bit of work, so him and 2 others were going to be loaned out to other groups. The other 2 toured my work area and were supposed to work for my group and another group in my building. Last minute, Rich got switched in and began working in my building.
We immediately noticed each other and once we were introduced, we couldn't stop talking. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen, even though we have nearly 25 years between us. We could talk so easily about food, activites, work, life. We had so much in common, it was scary. It was also scary that we couldn't resist each other.
Meanwhile, I was engaged to another man who I had so wanted to be my soulmate, but I knew deep down was nothing near. We had nothing in common (and never really had), but I had wanted to believe that he was the one I was supposed to marry. Rich changed all that.
Rich kissed me for the first time nearly 2 months after we first met. It was the most amazing kiss of my life. Fireworks, sparks, you name it, I felt it. I had never felt that before with anyone else. The kiss was so intense and powerful, I couldn't wait to get another one.
After a few weeks, Rich hesitated. He had a wife, his second one, but no kids with her. He still wanted to make it work with her, but he felt such an intense attraction with me that he didn't feel with her.
I thought I wouldn't be able to ever have him. I was still planning on getting married, unless I thought I could have Rich. For the next few months, he would zig and I would zag. We couldn't get on the same ground. Then he went to jury duty.
I missed him terribly. I didn't talk to him much, and it hurt. I realized that I needed him in my life. I was lonely in my other relationship and I did not want to get married. So I broke off my engagement without any hope of ever having Rich in my life the way I wanted. I was prepared to be alone.
I went nuts. I tried sleeping with a guy I barely knew and I wasn't attracted to. I tried to mess around with another co-worker. All to get my mind off Rich. He eventually came back to work and I resigned myself to the fact that we would probably always just remain friends.
One day, while he was working at his normal office, I asked if he wanted to do lunch. He said sure so I drove to his office and we had lunch and acted as if we were just friends. No flirting, no trying to graze his hand. Nothing.
He took me back to his office to show me around so I understood more of what he did for his normal work. And then we made love in a large broom closet.
Not my proudest moment, but it was the best sex I had ever had in my life. We both couldn't believe what we had just did and that it actually happened, without either of us trying very hard.
The next few months were insane. One of us would hesitate and it would throw the other into a spiral. I wanted to be with him so badly, but he had all these other commitments and doubts. Slowly, we finally found the piece of normalcy that we have been at for about 6 months now. We see each other almost everyday, we constantly talk throughout the day. We go skiing together, we cook together, we hike together. He trains for marathons and triathlons, so I've been running with him to help him train. I'm going to buy a bike soon so we can cycle together.
Once we got thru all the muck and mess and finally gave in to the fact that we are head over heels for each other and fit each other damn near perfectly, life became easy. I know you are wondering about his wife and how she feels, but the whole time I've known him, she's been more of a roommate to him than a wife. They barely went on any trips before and now he's taking more trips with me. I don't doubt she's a nice person, but she is mostly concerned with her daughters and herself. There's no room in there for Rich and his kids.
I'll comment on that more later, but now you know how our relationship started. Next post, sushi for lunch!
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